Welcome to my web diary!

As the title suggests, hasn't been the best week or so for me. It started with my dad in hospital for the week (luckily he is absolutely fine and out now and on the mend) and I decided to go and visit him last Friday. That same day my sister was told to take my niece to A&E as she's had a bad chest infection/cough/keeps being sick. That was wildly stressful, but the A&E is at the same hospital my dad was in, so me and my mum in the middle of visiting my dad were able to go down and wait with them. She had to have an x-ray but was fine, and still is, for the most part - cough gone now but still being sick during the night. I think it's anxiety - she's quite sensitive and worries a lot especially at night and I think she panics she will be sick. She has a blood test next Wednesday so fingers crossed, prayers, good vibes, crystals etc. that all is well with her.

I feel like that week I was in fight or flight I was so worried. On that same Friday, my mother got talking to someone else on the ward: another visitor with her partner. He had been admitted after passing out (she kept him alive with first aid for 50 mins before the ambulance arrived, which is crazy amazing.) they were waiting to hear back about scans on his brain, as he'd also been forgetting things and muddling words and dates.
That same Friday my dad left the hospital, about an hour before, the lady my mother had been talking to during the week and her partner were being moved to another hospital... shadow on the x ray. Brain tumour. My mum gives her a huge hug and says she will be praying for them. The lady turns to my dad and tells him to get better, but I can see she is choked and in shock. I haven't stopped thinking about that poor man and his partner, and I've prayed for them every night ever since. I really hope he's able to go on and live a healthy and long life despite the diagnosis.

It was a difficult and draining day all around. I feel quite haunted by it - isn't it strange to be a fleeting part of a strangers life, on such a big day? My mother is an angel - she can and will talk to anyone and everyone with a smile on her face, and I know she gave that lady comfort as she waited. My dad has been in and out of hospital basically my entire life, so my mum is a pro at hospitals and visiting lol.

Anyway, I haven't been able to shake the haunted feeling off, and I've been crying some too. I think as much as I was worried, I wasn't expecting to be a small part of such a story, to witness such an intimate and heartbreaking moment. And then I felt lucky, and then I felt bad about feeling lucky, and I thought God - I have to live.
I'm fully aware how I sound right now. I can't articulate how I feel. I just feel that it's impacted me.
God I hope he will be okay.

Best friend hit his head at work a couple days ago and still feels dizzy today, so I am *making* him go and get checked out tomorrow. I feel like my head's gonna explode with worry. So more fingers and toes crossed they just have a concussion and it's a few days off work.

Apart from that, it's been a haze. Still, the start of a new month and all we can do really is be hopeful. Finally on Friday we're doing a big clean after the washing machine is finally fixed so no more laundrette runs. I need to sort a planner for my modules in October, and the zebra pen stand filled with pens is back in stock at Tesco, and it's all over my stationery and planner groups lol. It's the little things! I may get it as it's about 20 pens for £12.50 and matches my white desk.

Anyway, I am rambling, as I feel so much better writing. I can't wait to wake in the morning after the nights sleep and feel better, hopefully. I've been playing modded Stardew on my PC, haven't touched Destiny 2 in a while unfortunately. It's gotten a little stale. I also wish I could be playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure but that's only on apple arcade, and while I have an iPad and iPhone I don't want to pay £5 a month for one game, so...

I'll leave it there. It's just been nice to empty my brain and ramble. I was close to a panic attack today.
Let's stay hopeful.

Until next time!