Welcome to my web diary!

So, even with the massive gaps this is the longest I've ever kept a journal going. To be honest I think I have just been busy and tired lately, so I haven't wanted to write anything.

Firstly, merry Christmas! I hope anyone who happens to be reading this had a nice day, whatever the circumstances. I got some nice gifts: Chappell Roan hoodie, pajamas, jacket, Filofax, Stardew Valley Symphony tickets (February 2026!) and some other little bits and pieces that are of course Freddie Mercury related. Dinner was wonderful, P doesn't like turkey so we opted for beef wellington seeing as he had a voucher, and it was delicious. Unfortunately a flu? Cough sort of thing has been making the rounds - everyone has had it including me, and while I only have a cough here and there, P is suffering, and on Christmas too. Still, we have had a very nice time, and we must focus on what we are grateful for.

In terms of updates, I was accepted onto doing MA Linguistics with Open Uni, so I do that now... I am quite behind because of work but I am hoping to catch up in that weird few days between Christmas and New Year, and the beginning of January - with a lot of determination. I left my retail job and took a seasonal position at another, and that has just ended; fingers crossed I end up getting a permanent job, but I am glad to have a little break to focus on studying if I am going to be honest.

Lately on my mind has been trying not to be overwhelmed with life, and upset that a blossoming friendship I thought would be there for life sort of died. No reason on my end, I was just slowly not spoken to anymore... very hurtful, but the friendship was new so I can't ask. It's been weeks since we've spoken - months maybe? - and it's on my mind a lot. I go from thinking maybe I did something wrong, said something weird - to no, it's their fault - to maybe it simply isn't anyone's and that is just life. I don't know. It just really sucks to think you've made a new friend, someone you can chat to, laugh with, share stories about you life and personal stuff with no judgement for it to just... fizzle. I tried really hard, but it takes to to maintain a friendship.

Oh well. As the days go on, I will feel better, and they will not cross my mind anymore. As you may have guessed from the tone of this entry I am feeling rather flat. I am looking forward to a nice, relaxing boxing day while I mull over some obtainable new year's resolutions.

Until next time.

 So, I'm well into season 5 now, almost done. And for some reason I can't really gel with the Doctor and Amy Pond. Separately I really like Amy's character - I think she's fun, but with the Doctor I don't feel like there's a tremendous amount of chemistry there. Maybe because I miss the tenth Doctor? Maybe I miss Rose and Donna? I was wondering but then it clicked, I think I just prefer Amy and the Doctor to be friends from the get go, sort of like a Doctor/Donna friendship, what with him taking an 'imaginary friend' role when she was little (and them meeting when she was little, too.) I found her liking him to be a bit forced (and her trying it on with him to be, well, a bit random!) So it hasn't really gelled with me that she likes the Doctor in a romantic way and would rather him over Rory - I think it would've been so much better if they were friends from the beginning, but alas. I've reached a point now where Rory has 'died' and so the dynamic between Amy and the Doctor is better and more friendly and it's good. I will meet Clara soon, and I've seen a lot of people say this Doctor and Clara have absolutely zero chemistry, so we will see. 

I feel like the stories aren't hitting the same as previous series, but I know there was a change of writers, so? That being said, The Van Gogh episode was brilliant, probably my fave from the series and yes, I did cry! I thoroughly enjoyed it. It'll be an episode I will think about for a long time.

Anyway, I'm really enjoying watching so far. I've never seen any DW before, so excuse me if my ramblings make no sense or are wrong, just my thoughts as a first timer through the new Who series. I'm looking forward to working my way through, and I hope to start S6 today and make a fair dent in that. 

- - -
In other news, still sleepy from the sertraline and still waiting for a GP app to discuss it. I've been given an extension on my second assignment so will start that on Monday. (I would start it over the weekend but A is coming over Saturday to watch the Royal Rumble and I know they won't leave until later on Sunday.) Looking forward to that and watching CM Punk wrestle as well, I think we're going to try our hands at making breakfast sandwiches - think sausage, egg, bacon, hashbrowns... Ah!

Today I might do some journaling, catch up with this weeks Pobol y Cwm and do some tidying up - I made a little list. I'm fighting the urge not to sleep really hard!

Until next time!

If there's one thing that's messing with me right now is how sleepy the sertraline is making me...
Glad I overcame the headaches and dry mouth, still having vivid dreams but I don't care as they're not scary and I am sleeping well at night. Still spacing out sometimes but not often.
I am not sure if I have noticed anything different in my anxiety and OCD. Maybe I feel a little better but not sure if it is a placebo effect... We will see. Have been on half a tablet for a week and yesterday was the first day of a full tablet at 50mg, so I will need to make a follow up app with the GP to see how I am doing. 

I have my first therapy appointment today, I thought it would be over video call but I think it's actually telephone, but that's fine. It's later this evening between 6-7. I will see how it goes. It is exhausting divulging stuff about my anxiety and OCD over and over, but it may help. I really hope so. 
I'm just so sleepy all the time  I could nod off just writing this!

Something that's keeping me awake tho and something I love doing is going to the recent activity here and reading the latest entries and having a look at people's profiles. It's so much fun to see everyone's lives written out.

Difficult assignment was done and handed in - no idea how it is, if it's even remotely good but thank God I got through it. Will have to have an extension for my next assignment for the other module but it will be fine I think. Got the books today and my sister a birthday present (Pulp Fiction art poster) now not really sure what to do with the rest of my day...

Went to see Queen Rock Montreal in IMAX at my local cinema and it was FANTASTIC. To see it in such HD was mind blowing, I loved it. I wish they could do it with every Queen concert... ever. Me and P were the youngest there which I was surprised at as I know Queen have a lot of younger fans especially since Bohemian Rhapsody came out (the film.) Some people at the back of the cinema got up and danced which I loved. It was so much fun!

Until next time.

 Hello hello hello!

So, Christmas and New Year have been and they were lovely. I always feel very blessed at those times of the year with family, friends, food and presents. It's a great time that I look forward to every year!

In terms of mental health, things were moving so slowly and are now fairly quick. I didn't pick my meds up straight away (Sertraline) so I've been instructed to take half a pill (25mg) for a week then a whole pill for another week and see how I feel and check in with my GP. It's only been 3 days so far on half a pill and I woke today with a monster of a headache and felt a little space out but I've been taking it in the morning so I think I may switch it to bedtime. I didn't realise such a small dose would do this! But I looked it up and it seems so, and I've also seen a lot of people say that if you stick through the side effects for however long they last (luckily headaches seem to only be for about a week) then it's life changing. So I am looking forward to that!

In terms of therapy, On the 9th I had an initial phone assessment where I had to divulge my innards again - a little awkward but I was completely honest. I then had a therapy app booked for the following week! I was shocked and pleased by how quick this was. However the only available day I wasn't available so I changed it so it is now for the 24th. It's over a video call which I think is perfect for me - I won't be too anxious to leave the house.

I have 2 assignments due this month. First one I am finding super difficult so asked for an extension which is Monday (22nd) I looked on the FB group for the module and others are struggling too. I think, after about 3 days of trying to do some research and really thinking about the question I have a plan, so I will be writing over the weekend because tomorrow...

I'll be seeing the Queen live in Montreal live show at the cinema! As nice as seeing it at the BFI IMAX would've been I didn't fancy the travelling to central London for it, but of course I would've. Turns out it's at normal cinemas too so tomorrow I'll be seeing it with P! 7:30 PM and I am super excited, I remember years ago they did the same thing for their concert in Hungary - I went to my local cinema at the time to see Hungarian Rhapsody. I'm looking forward to it!

Last but definitely not least I've been watching Doctor Who, I got P a box set of season 1-4 (Eccleston on to Tennant) for Christmas (He really likes the first 4 seasons and that's what he stressed he wanted) and well,  can you say Doctor Who brain rot?! I am loving it, and sad the DVD's have come to an end but it's on Amazon Prime so we can continue. I feel a special interest forming, it's all I can think about at the moment. I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I have been! So far Eccleston is my favourite doctor but really he's on the same level as Tennant... I do wonder if that will change as I go on. I am honestly really loving it. I will be reporting back after watching season 5 and onwards. 

Apart from that not much else - P had 2 weeks off which was lovely and we chilled. Been watching a lot of Doctor Who and doing a bunch of studying. We went out to eat for my youngest niece's 13th birthday and that was nice too. After the 2 assignments are in I think I will spend Feb looking for a job, hopefully by the time I do (fingers crossed quickly) my meds and therapy would've kicked in nicely... Enough for me to function more normally. 

Until next time!

Hello, hello.

Another entry pretty close after my other one - I'd feel proud if I wasn't procrastinating. I'm working on my first assignment due on the 21st, then another is due the 27th. I've been holed up at my desk for the past week studying, reading, writing notes and finally now starting the process of the actual assignment, which is making a forum post and replying to at least two other posts, and then I'll move onto writing a short essay.

It's not too bad, though yesterday it felt like my brain went to mush and what I was writing was a load of shit, but I am also on my period and not feeling too great and feeling all too tired, so I gave myself some grace. I did want to finish all of part A yesterday (the forum stuff) but I managed to write my post and respond to one other person, so just one more to do today, then maybe I'll do some gentle essay planning ready for tomorrow.

I don't feel like I'm feeling too fantastic at the moment, but I do think it's to do with my period so I will cut myself some slack. I also haven't eaten anything today so that might be contributing to how I feel. I'm excited because at the weekend P is getting the christmas decorations from the garage and we're decorating our house (I do not care if you think it's too early, when you've been holed up in front of your desk for at that point two weeks with non stop study and an awful period, you cling to the small things in the end) so I'm really looking forward to that. We've done great picking out presents and we're going out sometime this week to get the first part of the christmas food as well.

Not long now until Ashnikko and before that the christmas market. But until then it's two assignments and then I can breathe until January.

It's been rainy and gloomy here, really quite dark, which is nice. Also a lot colder so the heater in here has been working overtime.

We also watched Doctor Who, the first series with Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor (P has seen a lot of Doctor Who and me - none!) and I do have to say I did really enjoy it. We'll definitely be getting more DVD's to watch so I can go through each Doctor. As someone who knows absolutely nothing about it and has never watched it before I do really recommend it, it's a lot of fun and a joyous time capsule seeing as it was made in 2005 (I loved looking at the old shops and technology - and the notion of going to someone else's house to use their computer because you don't have one!)

Anyway, I really should get back to the assignment. I'll probably post again when the decorations have been up and we've been out and (fingers crossed) one out of two assignments have been posted. I love rambling here.

Oh and I'm also learning Welsh on Duolingo. The title is Welsh for "I'm tired." I'm really enjoying that and am on a 46 day streak so far. I've joined a bunch of groups on Facebook as well as a weekly newsletter (about different Welsh words) as I really would like to learn it properly and be able to speak it. It's amazing to read something in Welsh and actually understand it, and when I watch Pobol y Cwm I can pick up on words and chunks of sentences which is exciting. And one day I hope I'll be able to watch with no subtitles.

Until next time!